Musing on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

(I liked this one enough I decided to post it here as well as the GRRWG blog).

I didn't realize that my day to blog would fall on Martin Luther King, Jr. day. Perhaps that's because I haven't gotten this particular holiday off in over a dozen years. (Which isn't all that big of a surprise, after all my job is in IT and we typically do our biggest work on days when no one else is working.)

So, I started looking at some of his quotes. Everyone knows this one and it remains my absolute favorite:

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was young enough when he was killed to not really get the importance of his death. Kids tend to be too self-absorbed to get some of the bigger events in their life. At the time I was more concerned about my math homework and recess than anything else. It wasn't until later on that I figured out how important he was.

This quote always gets me thinking about doors opening and paths not taken:

"All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

There are times when I'm involved in various groups that I wonder if Dr. King truly understood what he started for the rest of us. The Stonewall Riots came just a year later, helping bring the homosexual community together to take on the oppressive laws throughout the US (of which many are still on the books to my great dismay). Just two years later the first Gay Pride marches were held in LA, Chicago, and New York.

I believe our lawmakers have tried to make laws that will protect us all from discrimination, I'm just not sure they work well. Perhaps that's because some lawyers want to interpret the intent of the law, while others look for loopholes. Why don't we try simpler language? For instance: "A company is to interview all skillfully qualified candidates." (Already the lawyer in my head has a dozen questions). Can't we just use common sense?


The year that Dr. King died, women were given protections from sex discrimination by an Executive Order, and affirmative action plans were required for hiring women. A year later, my home state of California, adopted the "No Fault" divorce law, allowing divorces by mutal consent. In contradiction, men still had legal control of whether or not their wives worked and where they would live - in California of all places! Luckily that law has since been axed.  This was the year I started paying attention to women's rights as I had one grandfather who constantly told me what professions were "appropriate" for girls, of which a Veterinarian was not one, and another one who told me girls could be anything we wanted to and that my chavenistic grandfather was full of it.

"Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.
Martin Luther King, Jr. "

This quote always brings to mind several friends who are talented, outspoken people, many of who are Gay. While minorites and women have come a long way, the Gay community as a whole hasn't seen as much progress. And the sad part is, they've been there for the rest of us all along. It is fairly well understood that making progress for one oppressed group helps bring the other groups forward as well. I was quoted over the summer as saying something along the lines of "It is now our time to stand up for the LGBT community, as they were there for women in the 70's". I do feel responsibility to be an ally and to help move understanding of this community forward. And it makes me incredibly happy to see the current generation being more tolerant in general when it comes to orientation, skin color and gender.

However, I don't think we are quite at the point where people are judged for the content of their character. We seem to be sliding backwards on that one. Perhaps technology is to blame for as we put more and more focus on what people look like (regardless of skin color) and less on who they are. Televeision, YouTube, and the anonymity of the internet, have made instant judgements incredibly easy, without forcing people to take the time to truly think things through.  Bullying has skyrocketed and too many teens and young adults are committing suicide over violent vitriolic posts on social media sites.

Still, on this particular holiday I have great hope that someday Dr. King may be able to look down and smile upon a nation that finally accepts people as they are and for who they are. Even though we may be taking a few steps back, we are still miles down the road from where Dr. King started.

BioWare's Star Wars game

I work on tech all day, last thing I want to do at the end of the day is do more tech stuff. My poor, dear hubby asked me to learn how to play this new Star Wars game (think Star Wars meets World of Warcraft) over my Christmas vacation. I have yet to even setup an account.

Blogging after a day of techie stuff isn't so bad, it's quick enough and I can write in LibreOffice and do a cut-paste when I'm ready to put it up. Not quite the same as playing a game for hours or working on a web page, This Star Wars game eats up a ton of time, and based on what I've seen of the interface and how much he's on the keyboard, I'm still stalling learning it, even though I'd have my own personal tutor, I'm resisting learning something new.

I'm stalling on making a web site for myself as well. Tweaking code and designing pages after a day of troubleshooting broken tech isn't a passion of mine. So I'm always looking for help.If you have any comments on layout, colors, whatever, feel free to leave me a comment. I'm always working on my writing and blogs.

I'm also working on pulling excerpts from both the Jess Barker and Fey Life series to post. Problem is that Jess requires a bit of "editing" to make her language more family friendly.  Perhaps you'll laugh as I do at my characters from time to time.

Come on by this weekend, I'll hopefully have some more Jess stuff posted by then. Perhaps I'll add another page for excerpts and short stories.

Contest News!

An author from my writer's group is having a contest. If you like Paranormal Romance (or even if you don't), take a peek at her website. You can win a book or an Amazon gift card for simply answering a question.

Here's the link:
Sidney Ayers' Contest

My Characters Wreak Havoc - Again!

I'm SO glad to know that I'm not alone in having people in my head telling me their stories. But I often wonder if other writers have characters that make them laugh at inappropriate times and buy way too many of something.

For example, The Scot has me buying sewing machines like they're going out of style. I did manage to stop him after my last two acquistions: a gorgeous White treadle machine and an old Kenmore in amazing shape. But now I have to work on getting some of these machines out of my house, and try to get back at least what they cost me to begin with.  I am learning quite a bit about their mechanics though, and how to fix them, so there is a positive side to his "influence.  I mean really, how many of these can you keep around?

Jess had me laughing all morning with comments like: "Just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't be a complete asshat!" and "You're dead. I'm alive. Get over it and let me get some damn sleep!".  And the one that made me really snort today: "Honey, your boobs are all crooked, here let me fix 'em." (She was helping Jolita into a new costume).

Since I've been sick and on cold meds, when I laugh my co-workers stare at me strangely and ask if I'm okay.  What makes it funnier to me is her thick Texas drawl and the way some of her dead groupies whine at her.  Visuals of Jolita in a bad costume don't help any either, especially given that she looks a lot like the ever-gorgeous RuPaul.

Then there's Merie. She gives me images of God (who's a woman by the way) grabbing Satan by his blond curly locks, looking into his baby blue eyes and shaking him like a ragdoll while she chastises him for something evil he had his minions do. Again. And she has a habit of doing so at the most inappropriate times, like when I'm in the middle of some really difficult tech problem or on the phone with a customer or in a meeting with the owners of the company.

And finally, there's Collie. My fey-hybrid who's basically a  supermodel and an environmentalist - of which I am most definitely neither! She rants at me for throwing something out that she feels should be recycled. Actually, she's kind of annoying, but I adore Bambi, her vegan fey-hybrid servant who chastises Collie as much as Collie chastises me.

On the other hand, Collie does give me some really fun craft ideas. She's behind some of my latest additions to my fabric stash, and encourages me in trying new shopping bag designs to put on my etsy shop (www.etsy.com/pyrhaven). Bambi gave me the idea of modifying some apron designs that are really cute, but that makes my fabric stash grow even more.

I wonder if the IRS would understand writing off a fabric stash as a "mental health" issue?

The Christmas Party Story Challenge

Tanya Eby a fellow member of GRRWG challenged us to write a short story about a Christmas party. I don't know how "short" this is, but this is what I came up with.  Not like what I usually write, it was still a fun challenge.

The Christmas Party

Nervous excitement coursed through me as I left my hotel room, checking my hair and makeup for the umpteenth time in the hallway's large mirror while waiting for the elevator. Last year, I'd been a mere team member. This year I was returning as the first-ever woman to successfully manage the launch of a new product line. I couldn't wait to politely rub the good ol' boys noses in my success.

I'd fled to the Mid-West after I graduated college, never realizing how culturally “backward” it was from my West Coast upbringing. Once there, it didn't really matter. I was far away from the one person I hoped to never lay eyes on again, and if fighting the good ol' boy network was the price, I was willing to pay it.

The product launch and marketing campaign had been a huge success. I had vindicated my bosses decision to promote me to the spot, and even one of the Senior VP's had congratulated me for a job well done. With a final pat of my perfectly coiffed hair, I turned at the sound of the slow elevator's ding.

The doors opened, and my heart fell to my stomach, the self-satisfied smirk left my face as my jaw dropped. I quickly composed myself, hoping he hadn't looked up in time to catch my expression. Damn it! It was my own fault. I shouldn't have been thinking so highly of myself. I had jinxed my night.

I politely nodded as I entered the elevator, pressing the button for the floor where the party was already in full swing. Turning to face the doors, I acted as if I didn't remember him. Perhaps he wouldn't recognize me. After all, it'd been almost a decade since we'd last seen each other, and my style had changed dramatically. Gone were my usual ripped jeans and bare feet. Tonight I was wearing an elegant ballgown, with gorgeous strappy sandals, and I had gotten a fresh mani-pedi just a few hours earlier.

He cleared his throat. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a quick movement of his hand, as if he'd reached out to touch my shoulder but changed his mind. The elevator made another stop to pick up an adorable elderly couple, one with a walker. I stepped back to give them more room which put me shoulder to shoulder with the person I most loathed on the planet.

Oh, my lord, he smells just like he did in college. Not fair! My knees always grew weak at the smell of Stetson. And it didn't help any that he was even more gorgeous than he had been in college. I mentally slapped myself, fighting to focus on the evening ahead of me. After all, I had a speech to give. One I'd been rehearsing for days, and at the moment I couldn't remember a word of it.

The elderly couple exited the elevator a few floors above my destination. I took the opportunity to step forward. It was just us on the elevator again. I closed my eyes and started to run through my speech.

I heard him clear his throat. “Um, Darcy? Darcy Hollis? Is that you?” His voice was soft, that low timber made my resolve melt a bit.

I dropped me head a bit, took a deep breath, slapped on my best customer meeting face, and turned to face him. “Yes, that's me. I'm sorry, are you a client of Clovis Industries?”

“Um, no. Actually, I'm the new West Coast regional sales manager, not a customer. Darcy, it's me, Pete. Pete Dawson? We went to college together.”

I stifled a smirk. He sounded so wounded. I couldn't resist playing with his head a bit more, but the elevator doors opened, and my boss was on the other side, drink in hand, his pink cheeks proving this one wasn't his first, or fifth for that matter. Steeling myself for the inevitable grab, I exited the elevator trying to avoid his grasp. Bob was a bit of a letch when he had a few drinks in him.

“Darcy! We were wondering where you were! Hey, Petey boy, have you met Darcy? She's our newest rock star. She's the one who handled our latest product launch.” Bob slapped Pete's shoulder with his empty hand, before wrapping it around my waist and pulling me along.

Ugh! Just what I wanted for Christmas. A drunk, married boss trying to cop a feel. I fought the urge to look at Pete and mouth the words “help me” as I would have done during college. He'd bailed me out of several unwelcome clinches at drunken frat parties, I'd be damned if I'd be the damsel-in-distress at this one.

Bob hung on to me as he wove us drunkenly thru the crowd, introducing me and Pete to a variety of people, many of whom already knew me. A few of the women who knew about my history with Pete delicately raised a questioning eyebrow at me, signaling me to come back and chat as soon as I was free.

A microphone boomed at the front of the room, saving me from further embarrassment courtesy of Bob. The chairman of the board quickly called us to dinner, and in no time I was up front for my speech. Luckily my amazingly great assistant Lucy had placed a copy of my speech up at the podium for me. I managed to sail through my speech, thanking my entire team, while apparently flawlessly covering up any nervousness or overlooked pieces of my speech.

I sat at a table full of my product team members. I had insisted on being placed with my team, an unconventional choice for this particular company. The launch would not have gone as well without my team and I wanted to show my thanks.

“A toast. To my wonderful, amazing, hard-working, product launch team. Thank you all! Without you all this would never have gotten off of the ground. Cheers!” Glasses clinked, as congratulations went around the table. I smiled at my crew. I'd handpicked my team, taking many other manager's “rejects” that I could see had talent and drive. We'd really shown the old boys a thing or two and I was proud of all of us.

I clinked my glass with my knife and stood. “Due to the huge success of the product launch, I am pleased to announce that we are being kept together as the lead team for improvements to the line we just launched as well as any future products our brains may dream up.” The table cheered and high-fived each other. “Wait, there's more! I badgered management into giving the entire team a 5% raise, and, everyone gets from Christmas Eve Day through the day after New Year's off. Now, let's all go dance!”

As I watched my team celebrate, I knew that giving up my own raise to give them that extra time off was well worth it. They had definitely earned it, and the board seemed to respect my decision to give credit where it was due. I just hoped it wasn't a career killer.

The board's chairman, John Thomas, approached me. He was in his late 80's, but didn't appear it. Still at the top of his game mentally, he walked tall and briskly, smiling greetings at the few willing to approach him. I had learned quickly that his gruff exterior was all show for business, in life he had a kind and generous heart.

“Darcy my dear, I've been looking for you. I've been meaning to introduce to one of our new sales managers. He'll be taking on your product line and I need you to get him up to speed on the marketing campaign.” He waved at someone over the back of my head as I inwardly groaned. Sales managers were typically male, egotistical, and chauvinistic pigs.

“Mr. Thomas, so nice to see you.” My stomach lurched, it was that voice, of course it would have to be that voice, and that man. Pete came from behind me to greet John, and I swore I felt his hand brush my waist.

“Pete, I'd like to introduce you to Darcy Hollis, the newly promoted Director for our product line, Darcy, this is Pete Dawson, the new sales manager I was telling your about.” My eyes grew big as I doubted my hearing. My confused expression made John laugh. “You heard right Darcy, I just finalized the paperwork. I didn't think Jim or Bob would do the job as well you, and I'd like to suggest Beth as your replacement. I think it's high time we move more women up.”

Stunned, I could only stand there trying to absorb it all. I had given up that promotion to get my team their time off. Both Bob and Jim, one of John's grandsons had jumped at the chance. I heard that low rumbling voice start up again.

“Congratulations Darcy. It sounds like John chose the perfect director. I can't wait to start working with you on the marketing campaign. I'm sure I will learn a lot.” Pete smiled down at me, his hand resting lightly on my back “How about a turn on the dance floor to celebrate?”

John congratulated me again, assuring me I'd earned the promotion, as he waved us off to the dance floor. The next thing I knew I was back in those familiar arms, spinning slowly around the room. How the hell had I gotten here? It took me a moment to realize that Pete had asked me a question.

“What? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. It's been a crazy night.” I looked up at the familiar green eyes. My traitorous skin was singing at his familiar touch. Old crushes apparently never die.

“I was just wondering if you remembered the last time we danced like this. Please don't tell me you don't remember me, you never were all that great at lying – at least not to me.” His voice was teasing me.

I'd really wanted to play with his ego a bit, but the night was already too confusing. Fine, I'd cave, but only a little. “All right. Yes. I do remember you. How could I not? You broke my heart when you broke up with me right before graduation. I almost didn't attend my own graduation because of you. I'd hoped to never see you again, and now here I am stuck dancing with you on what should be one of the greatest nights of my life. I just broke the glass ceiling at a century-old, male dominated company and my team has the most successful product launch in the company's history. And I'm stuck celebrating that news with you.”

He looked down at me, frowning a bit. “I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to ruin your night. I was just hoping...I dunno what I was hoping for. Look, I'm sorry for being a stupid kid. I hope it won't get in the way of our working together.”

Angry now, I broke away from him. “What? Do you think I am so unprofessional that I would let something so trivial as schoolgirl crush get in the way of my career? Tell you what, here's my card, call me or email me with your schedule. I'd like to get started on the marketing campaign for the West Coast as quickly as possible.” I spun on my heel and headed for the elevator.

Lucy stepped in beside me. “Darcy, are you okay? I didn't realize that was 'the' Pete. Is there anything I can do?” She stopped me, grabbing my shoulders to make me look at her.

I gave her a hug. “No, I'll be alright. I'm a big girl. Besides, do Product Directors cry at parties?” I laughed at her surprised look.

“They promoted you? Even though you gave it up for us?” Lucy had been in on the discussions regarding the bonuses and time off for my team. She'd known I'd given up the promotion to get my team their well deserved perks and she'd kept the secret safe.

“Yes, John just told me. I will be asking for you to be promoted as well, with a big raise. We've got a ton of work ahead of us and I can't do it without you.” Lucy jumped with delight, giving me a big hug. “Go on, go grab your boyfriend and enjoy yourselves.” I shooed her off and continued on my way.

My night was looking up a bit. If I could just avoid Pete for the rest of the night. I delayed my march to the elevator to chat with friends and teammates, accepting congratulations as word spread of my promotion. I managed to corner Beth and ask her if she'd consider being my replacement. She accepted, but only after asking if I was sure the board would approve. Like me, she was keenly aware of the ol' boys culture in our company.

“Sooooo, you're our new Product Director.” The slurred words were followed by a bourbon-laced belch aimed at my face. Bob was back and drunker than ever. Then it dawned on me, Bob would now be my equal. It must have stung his ego a bit.

“Hi Bob. Yes, John just told me about the promotion.” My mind whirled trying to find the right words to cool Bob off and not wound his ego at the same time. “You know, I wouldn't have been able to do it without your guidance. I learned a lot from you. Thank you.” I tried to sidle away, but he wasn't assuaged just yet.

“You got that rriigghht littllle la-la-lady.” Another belch. “You o-owe meee. How's 'bout showin a little thanks with a kiss?” He leaned forward drunkenly, and I jumped backwards into a firm, yet familiar body. A big hand appeared in front of me, catching Bob's face before reeling him backwards.

That low voice rumbled over my head. “You okay Bob? Looks like you lost your balance a bit.” Bob had lucked out and been caught by a few of the larger men on my team. “Guys, would you be so kind as to help Bob to table and get him some coffee?”

I mouthed the word "thanks" to my guys. It was nice to know that my team always had my back. They nodded as they landed several heavy slaps on Bob's back and steered him towards the coffee pots. I didn't thank Pete before I headed back towards the elevator.

The door was already open so I stepped on quickly, only to be joined by Pete. I glared up at him. I didn't need saving, I could have handled it myself. I'm sure I could have gotten out of it gracefully, somehow. I fumed a bit, which only made him laugh.

“Still stubborn to a fault, eh Darcy?” At my glare he held his hands up. “Sorry, I know you could have handled it just fine on your own. I just thought I'd lend a hand before your enforcers got into trouble. What is it about you and drunken men anyway? I'd of thought you'd had your fill of that at our frat parties.” His smile was warm and a bit contagious.

“Yeah, like it's my fault men get drunk and hit on me. Why were you following me anyway?” I glared up at him. I hate the fact that he's nearly a foot taller than me and was thankful I was wearing tall heels.

“I just wanted to make sure you got back to your room safe and sound.”

“I don't need an escort.” I crossed my arms and fumed some more. Pete remained quiet.

The doors opened at my floor and I exited, expecting Pete to stay behind. No such luck. He stayed by my side, quiet all the way to my door.

I looked up at him. “I'm not inviting you in. You can go now.” I made a shooing motion with my room card.

Instead of leaving, Pete moved in closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and drawing me tightly in. Damn that Stetson cologne! He smelled so good, I started to melt a bit in his arms, though I refused to look at his face.

“Look, Darcy. I'm sorry. Back in college, you were going on and on about graduation and the job offers you were getting, and it was driving me crazy.” At the start of my protest he put his finger on my lips and shushed me. I hate being shushed.

“Let me finish, please. What you didn't know was that I learned late into the semester that my final project wouldn’t be accepted. I was being allowed to walk at the same time as you, but I wouldn't be graduated until after I resubmitted my senior project during summer semester. I wasn't getting any job offers and I was mad. At myself, the world, and you. You were just so on point with everything. You had your life all figured out and I couldn't even tell you I wasn't graduating.” Pete's head hung with shame.

“So, you broke up with me because you were going to graduate a semester later? Did you really think that would've mattered to me? Even after I told you I loved you?” It still hurt, even all these years later, that memory of his rejection when I declared my long-standing love for him would be with me forever.

Pete reached in his pocket, pulling out a small, wrapped box. “Here, I was going to give this to you at graduation. I've kept it all these years in hopes I'd see you again and be able to give it to you. What better time than Christmas, right? Christmas is a time for miracles and forgiveness isn't it?”

I took the box, unsure of what to do or say. All I could croak out was a pathetic “ummm?”.

Pete lightly kissed me on my forehead and turned to leave. “I just wanted you to know that I still love you.”

I stood in shocked silence for a moment, and then unwrapped the box. Inside was a small diamond ring with a white card that simply asked, “Will you marry me?” Son-of-a-bitch! Had to wait nearly a decade to grow a pair and he still didn't ask me himself? Pissed off and ridiculously happy I couldn't decide what to do. Finally I kicked off my heels and began running, with the box firmly in my hand.

“Pete! Pete! Wait up, you lousy coward! Come back here and act like a man for once in your life.” I raced around the corner to the elevator and slammed right into a firm chest with enough force to land us both on the floor. God I really hope it was Pete I knocked down and not some poor innocent man.

I both felt and heard the low rumbling laugh. Brushing my hair out of my face I could finally see that, in fact, I had knocked Pete off his feet. Score one for the short girl!

Sitting up a bit, I began my rant. “How dare you hand me something like this!” I shook the box in his face. “And not have the balls to ask me in person? You don't ask a woman to marry you with a note written years ago! First you ask for forgiveness and then you ask her to marry you. You dolt! What? Did you think I would've have said no back then? I'd been in love with you for years you moron. How could you not know that when everyone else did?”

Pete laughed, then roughly pulled me to him for a long kiss. I melted. All the years of anger washed away as the realization that the person I loved the most, and hated the most, had never really wanted me out of his life.

We broke for air and sat up a bit. Pete took my hand and looked into my eyes. “So, will your forgive me? And then will you marry me?” I laughed, and punched him on the arm.

“Well, it is Christmas, I guess I can throw you a bone. Sure, I guess I'll marry you.” I laughed as Pete pulled me onto his lap for a soft kiss.

Christmas is a time for miracles and forgiveness after all, and this one was turning out to a doozy!

It's been rough lately

This particular holiday season has been full of unhappy events.  First we lost our dear friend Cora to cancer, and due to a lack of communication from a variety of people, we missed her viewing and a chance to be there for her father on a rough day.

A week to the day, and almost exact time of day, our Maine Coon kitten died unexpectedly at home. He was not yet 2 years old. The analysis to this point is that he died of a heart attack as the vet didn't find anything else. Unfortunately for my dear hubby, it happened while he was home alone and caused him great distress.  Our big-fluffy-large pawed-chirpy-dooropener is already greatly missed.

Christmas was a bit more fun. I got to spend it with a dear friend and her family, along with two really cute, energetic kids. And my family actually called me. So I was thinking, silly me, that we might be looking at an upswing in our lives.  Nope. Another dear friend is having a tragic day tomorrow, having to put down his beloved old 18 year old cat. And another friend lost a beloved Aunt today.

This made me have a chat with God. She will occasionally answer me. Mostly she just shrugs things off and says to talk to Merie instead. She actually answered me this time around.  Her answer: "That's Life sweetie." Damn bitch! She truly has a warped sense of humor. Even Merie had to smile a bit when I ranted at her about her bitch of a boss lady.

The only good news out of this chat, was I got bit more of the Merie story done. Now I just need more time to work on my blog pages, and get a break from work-work on my vacation.

Molly gets a new name

I've been needing to rename one of Jess' best friends, Molly, because there's too many 'M' names too close together in the book.  I've asked for input from a variety of folks and had picked a name, but was waiting for approval from my friend to use it.

It's been weeks and I hadn't heard back from her. Today I learned why. She'd been in the hospital, valiantly holding a last stand against the cancer that has ravaged her body for far too many years. Today, she lost her battle. I just learned this. She will be missed.

And Molly will be renamed Cora, in honor of my friend. Her nickname will be Corky, just as Cora's dad called her. I'm sure Cora is smiling up in heaven. She'd read part of Jess' book, and has an understanding of Molly's character and I'm sure she'd approve.  They're fighters, Molly and Cora, and I can't think of a better name to use now.