Oh! And God's a woman. Picture a carmel-brown colored woman who looks kind of like the Greek Goddess Athena, only really, really TALL. And God's an engineer, among other things.
It was pouring, nearly sheets of rain, thunder clapped loudly, and the lightening was close. Stan and Merie huddled in the mine shaft together, trying to avoid God's directed wrath. And God was furious!
“I swear Merie, it's not my doing this time! You know I like to 'tweak' her at times, but she's on a major rebuilding frenzy and there's NO WAY I would have done this. That's what I came to tell you.” Stan's face was sincere, but as Merie knew well, Stan was a phenomenal actor.
Taking his words with a grain of salt, Merie sighed. “Well, 'if' you didn't do it, do you have any idea who did? And what's the background on the whole event? God didn't tell me that this was in the plans.” Merie tilted her head up at Stan. He was an angel after all, and they did tend to go towards the tall side of God's creatures. Standing about 6'8” he wasn't her tallest, but he was a stretch for Merie.
Stan shook his blond curly head, “All I know is that it's none of my crew. I swear if it was one of my human minons I'd have killed them already, but none are admitting it. There's more to this than either of us know, and God's not helping any.” He smirked down at Merie as the thunder began to tone down a bit. If he'd been paying attention to Merie's eyes, he'd have seen what was coming reflected in them.
“OW!!! Shoot!! Woman! Let go of me.” Stan hollered as he was lifted more than a foot off the ground.
Merie was doubled over in laughter. God had stormed in and snatched up Stan by his curly blond locks to look in her still stormy eyes.
“What the hell are you doing out of your cage?!!” God thundered down at Stan as she shook him like a rag doll.
“OW!! Damn it all woman, put me down!” Stan was holding onto his head while trying to kick his way out of God's grasp.
“Address me properly little one! Or have you forgotten? I created you; I can simply 'uncreate' you at my heart's content." God's smirk was evil, her eyes glowing red. "You're lucky that I have a soft spot for this little chosen one. She's the one that always saves your skin for you.” God motioned her head in Merie's direction, and smiled benignly down at her Chosen one. Merie basked in the warm beam, feeling the love that only God could make her feel.
Smiling up at her God, Merie said, “Not to contradict you dearest One, but I don't 'always' save his skin.” God laughed, her face brightening, the red glow dimming to a deep pink. “But he does say it's not his humans or his minions. I wonder...could it just be that a human is behind all of this for some reason?” God frowned down at Merie, her face growing dark. “I didn't mean this disrespectfully at all, dear One, but could it be possible that due to free will it's out of your hands?” Merie downcast her eyes, afraid of a close handed burst of God's wrath.
Instead of pain, Merie's face was quickly jerked upwards at a burst of warm, happy, laughter. God finally put Stan back down, placed her hands around her waist and laughed. “Oh dear, you're probably right my little one. That stupid 'free will' always comes back to bite me in the ass.” Merie chuckled as well...she and God had once chatted long into the night when Merie was very, very young about God's choice of free will for her human creations.
“So, little one, do you have any ideas who it might be?” God's eyes flashed with anger, but her voice was still mirthful.
“Well, I was thinking perhaps it was the environmental folks, but I'm thinking it has more to do with that big ranch just on the other side of this mountain. From what I understand, the head of the family that owns it has been in a battle with the poor family that owns the drilling rights. He has the knowledge, perhaps you can 'change his mind' for him and make him fess up?” Merie smiled crookedly up at God.
“Ah, but my dearest little one, you're forgetting your own choice of will. If it is in fact a human leveraging his free will, I won't interfere. Best you try your own bag of tricks to determine who's causing the problems here. Perhaps your own 'feminine wiles' can do the trick.” God winked at Merie, “You've used them well in the past, perhaps it's time to bring them out once again. How old is this human?”
“Well, he looks to be older than I look now, so perhaps that will work. He is a rather disgusting excuse for a human though. However - for you my dearest One - I can endure anything.” Merie felt the full force of God's love on her as she beamed down at her.
“Wonderful my child! I shall give you a vacation after this job is complete.” Whipping her head around to glower down at Stan's attempt to escape, she reached a long arm out to once again grasp him by the hair. “Not a chance Slim. I'm putting you back into your cage where you belong.” God flew out of the mine shaft, Stan in tow, as Merie raced to watch her descent.
Merie emerged from the mine shaft just in time to witness an incredible full rainbow, the clouds, rain and thunder all gone in an instant. She shook her head sadly, thinking What a shame that humans can't see God as I can see her or recognize her miracles.
I laugh every time I read about Stan being picked up by his curly locks. He looks like an overgrown cherub with beautiful light blue eyes and dimples. So cute his only option was to become evil after all. I did adjust some of the language to to be more PG rated.