Thursday, January 19, 2012

An Interview with Jess


I was debating about whether or not to post the first chapter of some of my books on my blog. So, as usual, I went to my writer's group – Grand Rapids Region Writers Group – with the question. There was some difference of opinion, but Simone Anderson answered the question I hadn't asked.

So, I'm not posting chapters here. Why? Because it is possible that a publisher may consider the work “published” and may not pick it up. Since I haven't decided if I'm going to self-publish yet (I'm still trying the traditional route of finding an agent) I decided to heed Simone's advice.

Her advice included the idea of posting interviews with (or of) my characters. Or at least that's how Jess has interpreted it and she hasn't shut up about being interviewed ever since. To ease my aching head and shut Jess up for awhile, I agreed to interview her.

So, with no further ado, here's my first ever interview with Jess Barker from the Jess Barker Mystery series. Hopefully it's not too silly and you may get a good giggle. And I've warned Jess that if she swears there will be a [bleep] posted as I'm trying to keep this blog somewhat G-rated.

JC:     Welcome Jess! So, how about telling everyone what's it's like to be you?

Jess:   What it's like to be me? How the [bleep] do you think it feels to be followed around by a bunch of dead people that won't leave you alone? It's kind of like being Tori Spelling when she's pregnant and the paparazzi are following her non-stop. Only no one can see my 'paparazzi' because they're frickin' dead and mine have the added "'bonus" of being able to follow me into the bathroom stall.

JC:      Ooookay....uhm, I did warn you I'd have to verbally “bleep” you, remember?

Jess:    Oh, so now you're going to play like you're a saint? You know your mouth is as bad as mine.

JC:      (I'm trying hard not to chuckle here) No, I'm not playing the saint here. Everyone who knows me, knows I can swear with the best of 'em.

Jess:   Fine. (she's pouting)

JC:     Wanna tell them anything else?

Jess:   Nope.

JC:     Sure?

Jess:   Positive. You're not doing this way I wanted you to, ya know. (she's still pouting)

Jess:   Quit being a [bleep] and telling them everything I'm doing or I'm walking sister!

JC:     All right, all right! Geez, you're grouchy tonight. What's wrong?

Jess:   I'm tired! My horrible boss made us all work overtime, and my dead groupies whined all night at me about paying attention to them so I haven't slept in over 24 hours.

JC:    Sorry. I know how grouchy they can make you. How about we talk about your work instead?

Jess:   'K. My actual work is pretty boring. The bad part is I work in a hospital so I'm always on alert to ignore the dead running around there. It's a bit tough because my two best girlfriend's work there too, and they don’t know about my stupid cursed gift.

JC:    So, from your point of view, interacting with the dead the way you do is a curse?

Jess:  Yes. A curse. Definitely.

JC:     Is there anything about work you do like?

Jess:   The good thing about work is that Maggie works with me and we get to see Cora fairly often. On occasion, I even get a long enough break to meet Paul for lunch.

JC:     Why don't you tell everyone about those three?.

Jess:   Well, Paul and I met in college. He's like my brother and sister all rolled into one. He's been my BFF since the first day we met. I mean, who doesn't love a good Drag Queen? Maggie is a genuine sweetheart, gorgeous inside and out and she always knows when I'm arriving at work, it's a bit unsettling. And Cora, well, she's feisty, a fighter, and a bit of a cougar. She's always got an eye on some cute young guy.

Cora:   Now wait just a minute! I am NOT a cougar.

JC:      Well, hello Cora, Maggie, Paul. Nice of you to join us. Is this the way it's always going to be? I try to interview Jess and you three jump on in?

Paul:    Oh, quit it. You love us all and you know it. (Paul grins as he plants kisses on our cheeks)

Maggie:  Hi, JC! You know perfectly well that wherever Jess is we're not too far behind. Someone's gotta keep her on the sober train.

Cora:   Seriously! I'm not a cougar. I'm forty, fit, and fabulous. What man in his right mind wouldn't want me?

Paul:   Well, me doll. You're just not my type. You know you don't have the 'right parts' for me. (Cora sticks her tongue out at him making him laugh)

JC:      Enough you two. C'mon you guys. I'm trying to interview Jess and it's becoming a three-ring circus (like usual) in here!

Maggie:   We're sorry. What else did you want to know?

Jess:     Aw, [bleep]! Give it up JC. We're done here. Let's take this circus on the road and go get something to eat. I'm starving and want something chocolate!

JC:       Fine. But I get dibs on the hot fudge!

Sorry folks, this is what goes on in my head on a routine basis. Welcome to my world!





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