For example, The Scot has me buying sewing machines like they're going out of style. I did manage to stop him after my last two acquistions: a gorgeous White treadle machine and an old Kenmore in amazing shape. But now I have to work on getting some of these machines out of my house, and try to get back at least what they cost me to begin with. I am learning quite a bit about their mechanics though, and how to fix them, so there is a positive side to his "influence. I mean really, how many of these can you keep around?
Jess had me laughing all morning with comments like: "Just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't be a complete asshat!" and "You're dead. I'm alive. Get over it and let me get some damn sleep!". And the one that made me really snort today: "Honey, your boobs are all crooked, here let me fix 'em." (She was helping Jolita into a new costume).
Since I've been sick and on cold meds, when I laugh my co-workers stare at me strangely and ask if I'm okay. What makes it funnier to me is her thick Texas drawl and the way some of her dead groupies whine at her. Visuals of Jolita in a bad costume don't help any either, especially given that she looks a lot like the ever-gorgeous RuPaul.
Then there's Merie. She gives me images of God (who's a woman by the way) grabbing Satan by his blond curly locks, looking into his baby blue eyes and shaking him like a ragdoll while she chastises him for something evil he had his minions do. Again. And she has a habit of doing so at the most inappropriate times, like when I'm in the middle of some really difficult tech problem or on the phone with a customer or in a meeting with the owners of the company.
And finally, there's Collie. My fey-hybrid who's basically a supermodel and an environmentalist - of which I am most definitely neither! She rants at me for throwing something out that she feels should be recycled. Actually, she's kind of annoying, but I adore Bambi, her vegan fey-hybrid servant who chastises Collie as much as Collie chastises me.
On the other hand, Collie does give me some really fun craft ideas. She's behind some of my latest additions to my fabric stash, and encourages me in trying new shopping bag designs to put on my etsy shop (www.etsy.com/pyrhaven). Bambi gave me the idea of modifying some apron designs that are really cute, but that makes my fabric stash grow even more.
I wonder if the IRS would understand writing off a fabric stash as a "mental health" issue?